As Seen Through My Specs
Author: EL James Genre: , , , ,

OK, so there are couple of super popular tropes right now in adult contemporary romance/erotica, the 50 Shades trilogy dealing with the virgin/sexually inexperienced young woman, and a rich well hung man with issues.  Seriously, I’ve yet to read anything since this book where the male lead has an average size penis, everyone is hung like a horse and has stamina for days… bitch please…

In this review I’m covering the series as a whole because I don’t really see it as three distinct parts, but rather a continuum, breaking at convenient points for publishers to make snazzy non-threatening covers and a movie franchise.  Like Star Wars, only Lucas isn’t going to come in 25 years later and fuck with the plot and some CGI to make things that never happened part of cannon.

As we peek into their world we meet young Anastasia Steele, smart, gangly, awkward and unknowingly beautiful, all the boys want her, but our Ana stumbles unaware through day to day life, as fate would have it, her roommate, a journalism major, is struck down with the flu and cannot conduct a long since scheduled interview with a young area tycoon, and begs her friend Ana, who is socially awkward at best to go and conduct the interview, with no efforts to reschedule, or conduct this interview via Skype, like all the cool kids are using these days.  So Ana, best friend, sucker, pretty brown haired girl climbs into her beat up Beetle Wanda and heads from the wilds of Vancouver Washington to Seattle, to interview handsome, charming dashing all around hottie Christian Grey.

What follows is poorly written Twilight fan fiction, here’s the thing though… I couldn’t put the fucking things down, devoured them one after another and then read them again, I have them as books on tape audio files it’s like crack, once they get you., you can’t stop.  I think earlier this summer I described the series as a train-wreck, a naughty, dirty train-wreck that you just can’t turn away from.  There is actually some dude in the UK who is writing FSoG from Christian’s point of view as fan fic and it’s a million times better than the original, I’m like an addict waiting every Sunday for him to put up a new chapter, as he’s following chapter by chapter through all three books from the “hero’s” POV.

The trilogy follows our star crossed lovers from the bumbling first meeting to their HEA type ending.  For all hiss wealth and experience Christian is as much, if not more, socially inept than Ana, sure he got laid, a lot, before he was transfixed by our beautiful heroine, but it was sex, most of which on some level or another way paid for, or with his mom’s best friend.

There are the usual, and unusual speed bumps along the way, the story is well paced, and but for the over use of the words glance, mutter and murmur it’s an easy page turner.

It gives a tame, safe view into a very small corner of the BDSM world, and although Christian has his playroom outfitted more coolly than a proper dungeon at a fetish club, the sexual interactions between Christian and Ana are relatively vanilla, with some sprinkles thrown on for flavor.  And though the sex is mainly tame by other erotica standards there is a LOT of it, seriously, I’m not sure where these two found the time to hold jobs, sleep or eat, it seems that at the drop of the hat these two are humping like bunnies.  On a boat, on a plane, in the tub, in the club, Ana and Christian get their groove on.  Seriously, Christian not only always has a hard on, but he’s got a pocket full of foil packets at the ready.  And also per the trope it seems that although she starts their relationship as basically sexually illiterate she’s having orgasms, and tons of them, from the get go and is a killer at giving head.  OK, it’s been a long time since I lost my virginity, but I’m fairly certain that isn’t how it happened for me, or pretty much any other girl out there.  So a note to you virgins out there, your initial sexual experience isn’t likely to be so earth-shatteringly amazing, unless your partner has spent lots of time studying how to pleasure a woman, and has had lots and lots of practice.

Also, their relationship goes from zero to sixty in about 3 weeks time, and even though I knew from my first date with my husband that I would eventually marry him, we actually took time to get to know each other like mature rational adults.  So your mileage may vary from Ana and Christian, and that’s not only OK, it’s likely preferred.

I wish there had been a little more attention paid to some of the other characters and some additional interaction with the friends and family members, especially the Kate/Elliot relationship, they delve into it at the same time as Christian and Ana, but without the pesky troubles of a past full of former submissives, virginity and emotional issues related to having sex.

Like I said, FSoG is a gateway drug to much better adult contemporary romance and erotica.  Read these because everyone else is, and then buy some higher quality shit.  Once you’ve read the “mommy porn” and you’re not completely put off by the adult themes and the concept of BDSM both in small and large doses read some of the books I’ll be reviewing after this trilogy.

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